Jen. Weimer. Taylor.

I am thinking most if not all new moms go through this - Where did I go? Am I going to return? Who am I now?
Yes, I'm a wife and mother but inside, who am I?

Every day I feel as thought I am going through motions much like if I were a robot. Morning Motion - go to work; Afternoon Motion - pick up sweet Alexis Grace whom I miss so, so much during the day; Evening Motion - make sure Alexis is learning, make up for the time I was not able to be with her and make sure things are ready for tomorrow. Oh yea, try really hard not to be tired and irritated with everyone/thing except my sweet Alexis.

I used to be Single Jen Weimer or just Weimer. I loved this girl - she was a bit wild and really had no direction and felt lost most of the time. Still, I was okay with this - it meant I got to meet some really cool people that accepted me for the lost soul I was (who are still my friends) and make some of the best memories I will ever have.

Then I was Married Jen Weimer Taylor. I loved this girl even more - I had more confidence in myself and I married the best man ever. And once again I was blessed to meet someone who accepted me for me - the entire crazy, sometimes confused but 99% of the time know what I like and don't like person. This married girl understood where she was going most of the time. She loved her friends and loved running. That is all she needed - family, friends, running. She was lucky enough to like her job as well.

Now I am a mother - a wife and a mother. This is something I have wanted my entire life - I am someone who has known since she was six years old that being a wife and a mother is what I am supposed to be. Its what I wanted to be. I'm not supposed to be a career driven person - I don't care. I like work because it makes me feel apart of something and I feel like I can contribute to my families well being but I could leave it in a second. I love being married - especially to Jason. He makes me laugh like no other and I don't know anyone else in the world who could love me as much as he does.

Being a mom - this is so new. I am in love with being a mom and I love Alexis Grace so much I could have a bunch more! But this girl is lost. Again.
I have no issues about how I am raising my daughter or her future. I have nothing but positive thoughts about my daughter. Its me. I have lost myself. Or rather I can't find my new self. I am not confused about working and being a full time mom - its what I have to do right now. No big deal.
But is this new me going to be fun and are my friends going to accept this new me? Are they going to like the new not so wild me? Am I going to like her? I like to think I am going to have fun no matter what I do but I'm just not used to this new girl. I am sure I will embrace her sooner rather than later but in the mean time I am feeling a little lost. Kind of like walking in the dark. I'm bound to stumble on something that makes sense; I'm just not sure when.

I welcome this new girl and whatever she may bring.