Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Waiting

I went to the Dr. today and they confirmed we were pregnant with twins. That would have been so great but there will be plenty of more chances. I had another sonogram and the one sac they are trying to determine if it is good or bad grew from Friday the 14th but still no heart beat.
Instead of making a rash decision and go straight into surgery the Dr. is going to have me get one more sonogram Wednesday afternoon (the 27th) so they can make a confident decision.

I am sad but not as much as yesterday - i think my hormones are a little out of whack too. My body still says I am pregnant and technically I am but it does not look good. My mind is a little tired as well - if this pregnancy turns out to be okay does this set the precedence for the pregnancy? Will it be this difficult? I guess I should not start asking questions just yet - we don't even know what direction we are going in. So, if (which the Dr. is still betting the pregnancy is not good) this sac is bad then i will have surgery on Thursday or Friday of next week. At least I will get to heal during the New Year holiday and be rested for work. Yippee for me! (I am allowed to wallow in self pity for 1 second)

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Better Days

Yesterday we received a call from the actual Dr. and not Assistant Pat which never means good news. Turns out she did not have cheery news to spread. We lost the pregnancy. We are very sad and know that it is a good thing my body aborted something it was not supposed to have and I know we will be able to have kids in the future but that does not change the fact that we are sad. Being sad makes you tired - I did not want to get out of bed today to go see the Dr. either.
We got to the Dr. office this morning and could tell they were preparing us for bad news. We sat outside the Doctor's office while she prepared her notes with the nurse then called us in. She showed us there were definitely 2 sacs and 1 is definitely not good. They are 99.99% sure the other one is bad too but I have to go get another sonogram tomorrow AM so we can be 100% sure before I make an appointment for surgery.
I have to be put to sleep and I am scared. I have never been scared for surgery before or really getting anything like this done. Sure, I get nervous but not scared. I have never been put under before and I do not react to medication well. I have a very sensitive system so I don't take pain medication or even cold medication for that matter. I am an Advil person or it will go away on it's own.
I know it will be okay and I have a very good Dr. but I am just dreading this. The surgery will only take about 30 minutes and then Jason will drive me home and I will sleep. We are not sure when the surgery will be but hopefully it will be by the end of this week or right after x-mas.

Monday, December 10, 2007

What a Week it is going to be

This is the start of a fantastic week! Tonight we are going to finish up Christmas shopping, sending out Christmas cards and clean some bathrooms. Tomorrow I am going to freak out about getting things ready for a party we are going to have on Saturday. Wednesday I am going to our work (girls secret Santa gift exchange) at our office managers house. She is such a great party host and sooooo creative. Jason will be going to the hockey game with his brother Adam and some of Adams clients and Allison and Paul are coming home. Thursday we are going to wake up early and go to Kennesaw College to watch my most awesome and smart husband graduate with his Masters at 10:00 am. Then it's off to lunch to celebrate some more!

Friday I am going to be freaking out again because the party is the next day - I will be cooking, running around and trying to hang out with my sister and her boyfriend before they go out with her friends. Crap, I need an outfit for Saturday so I guess I will do that too. Saturday I will wake up and run around again cleaning up last minute stuff and then try to be a most cordial host for the big graduation party at 4:00 until whenever. Although my whenever may be a little earlier than most as I get tired pretty easily these days. I don't think that will last too much longer though :)

Yea! What a Fantastic Week!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Feeling A Little Better

Good news. I talked to Pat this morning and she gave me some good news. My blood level is 7237. She said I am trucking a long. The sonogram nurse scared me the other day by telling us that cramping is not good at all and my light bleeding is not good either. Well, Pat said that cramping for your first pregnancy is very normal and almost everyone has it because the uterus has not been stretched before. She also said that very light bleeding is okay but we will monitor it so I am in good shape for now. Jason and I have another sonogram appointment Friday the 14th so I think we will be able to relax more once we get to that. Hopefully I am just not as far along as we thought. :)
I am having dinner with some girlfriends tonight and it will suck not being able to tell them but I would rather wait. Jason has the day off today and for the next few Fridays! Lucky dog.......
I think he is going to check out a kitty door for our door to the third bedroom. It would be awesome if we can get it installed this weekend. How nice would it be to not have to look at that litter box? I'll tell you - super freakin nice.

Now for the most exciting news of the month................................
Jason is graduating with his Masters in Writing Thursday December 13th at 10:00 am. I am so proud of him and he is so excited. My family will be there and his mom and Andy will be there as well. Jason has worked so hard (5 years) to get where he is. He started his Masters Program, got married, purchased a house, became a dad and now he is graduating! A lot has happened in those 5 years. Jason. You're the bomb.com................haa.ahaa!! I love you!

Fat Face

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Worried

Well, today we had our first ultrasound of the baby. They couldn't really tell us anything so we are waiting. again. until tomorrow.
The nurse found two sacs. She thinks 1 might be blood or a sac that will eventually go away and she thinks the other could be the baby although it was really small so we have to go back next week for another look. They had to take more blood to make sure my blood count is moving up and we will find that out tomorrow. If it goes down that will not be good so I am worried. I would cry if I were not at work. Jason assured me that everything will work out even if it is not this time. Jason said he will be really sad if we don't get good news but we will be okay even if it takes 100 times. He is being very supportive and strong. I did not expect that support so soon. It is very nice and very comforting. I honestly thought he would clam up and I would be on my own until he came around. It makes me feel better knowing what he is thinking too. Jason if you are reading this - thank you for your support and I love you. I knew when I married Jason it was the best thing I would ever do. I am reminded a lot that it was.

Fat Face.